In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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