Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
