..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
