You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
