Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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