I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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