just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
