I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Randomize
