You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
