Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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