Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
