Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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