S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
