Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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