you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
