She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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