Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
You smell like stripper and shame
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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