I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Actions speak louder than pants.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
