when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
