you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
