Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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