i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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