I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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