Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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