Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
