who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
