Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
