my vag is so smooth its legendary
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
