what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
