please come you make the beer taste better
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
