i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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