You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
