He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
i think i just lost a toe
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