So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
