I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
