Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I could make wine with my vomit
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
