Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
