I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
