She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
