You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she peed on how many people?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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