dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
