I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
