I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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