nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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