I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
