We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
