It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
