In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
