He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
