just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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