when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize